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Monday, May 12, 2008


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Yeah, it's a totally different type of love. A love that protects to the death. The love for a spouse isn't generally protective in that same mother tiger way. So you save the cubs and hope the patriarch is saving himself.

I can see that--I think the partner would do the same, no?

It's a strangely different thing. I sometimes 'torment' myself with ideas of Soy dying but my response is always the same - how would I cope practically without him? I just assume that I would be devastated but go on because the kids need me.

But my nightmares these days are always about losing the kids. Just last night I dreamed they were strapped into the car as it rolled down hill and into the sea. I woke up sweating. The consequences are unimaginable.

My worst nightmares are to do with losing my children too. My partner? Meh - he can look after himself.

My life would be fractured if something disastrous happened to him, but I would need and want to pick myself up and keep going, because my girls need me.

And when we have talked about this, he has much the same response. It's a very curious thing, this protective love we have for our children.

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