she's gone

We had Lotte put to sleep at home yesterday afternoon. She was somewhere around 14 years old and had lived with us for 13 years this month. She wasn't just a companion but influenced the direction and progression of our lives in ways that are too intimate to write about here now.

It's been an emotional 48 hours. I literally feel pained and heavy hearted. And shocked at what felt like the suddenness of the end, even though she'd been in decline for some time. I spent two hours awake in the middle of the night, going over the events of the past few days, wondering if we could or should have done things differently. But I just looked at some photos we took of her yesterday morning and they made me feel somewhat better about our actions - she looked so worn out. Nevertheless, it was very difficult acting in that way, to extinguish such a beautiful light.

Here's a photo of her from around 1995 or 96, outside our house on the street she loved - she was such an athlete.

Here she is two or three years ago, an old girl.

We buried her in our friends' long garden where she'd spent so many happy times.

Comments

[Liz]

Oh Susan, I'm so sorry.

[Linda]

Geez. :(

So sorry for your loss.

[Link]

Oh susoz, very sorry. I have no doubt, you gave her a wonderful life.

[webfrau]

{Big hug}
So sorry for your loss, she was a great dog, I'm glad I had the chance to meet your friend that I've heard you talk so much about.

[Jacinta]

So sad...but what a dog's life! So lucky to be part of your family.

[Jody]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Sandra]

I'm sorry.

[Vanessa]

I am so very sorry. I loved hearing your stories about her over the years and know she is dearly missed.

[elsewhere]

So sorry to hear about Lottie. So hard to say farewell to a good companion.

[CW]

*cries*