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Wednesday, August 01, 2007


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I know what you are saying because I have thought the same thoughts you are thinking. Just the other night I was thinking to myself it has been 13 years since my beloved Nanna died, but if I live to be 80 that's nearly another 40 years that I won't see her. And it really gets to you, doesn't it?

But you know what, no matter how much time passes after we lose loved ones (be them humans or our animal friends), they are always in your heart, and always there in the back of your memory, even if there are things about them you can't consciously remember.

I had a cat called Tammy who I absolutely adored, who passed away when I was 14. I'm 41 now and my conscious memory quite honestly can't recall her that well, even though she was one of the most loved animals I ever had. But every now and then, I will still dream of her, and when I dream of her it's in perfect detail, and my memory is perfectly clear, and it's then I realise, she is NOT gone from me at all - she's still there, still in my heart, and still in my mind.

They are always with you, even when you think they're not.

I hope the next few days and weeks are as kind to you and your Lotster as they can be.

The drip brought her urea level down to normal so she looks brighter, more alert. But she's still weak - when she walks, she looks like she could collapse easily. So although we are very happy to have her home with us tonight - and she's up in bed now - I don't feel confident that she is going to recover this time. We're on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, both feeling very emotional and teary - there are so many memories and associations and I can hardly remember life before Lot, especially as she came to us not long after we came to Australia.

Oh dear. I've been going through the same thoughts about the Lenster, because he was always so real and present to me as an animal: he had so much personality. Now I wonder if he's drifting away from me... I feel tempted to memorialise him in writing, if only for myself.

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