reading and other thoughts

I haven't written about Olle's reading level in awhile. In the last term of last year he segued apparently effortlessly into being able to read at a fluent book-reading level. By book, I suppose I mean those slender paperbacks which are *not* picture books - they are meant for early readers to read on their own eg the Aussie Nibbles series. Olle was reading such books aloud as his compulsory nightly reader from school. (He wasn't sitting on the couch to read them to himself for pleasure.)

Along came the summer holidays and he effectively stopped reading. And writing. I didn't really clue into that until three weeks had gone by. Then when I suggested he read to me, I struck the same old resistance. It was clear that *having* to read is something he associates with school and hard work. [I always need to add the caveat that he does spend a lot of time looking at books and always enjoys being read to.] And when we suggested he write thank you notes to people who had sent him Christmas presents, he again indicated that he saw the act of writing as an onerous chore, which surprised me given how much effort he put into his handwriting last year. He even procrastinated on sending a postcard to his best friend while we were away, even though it had been his idea.

Perhaps it's only fair that he should have a break from 'work' in his holidays and I didn't push it. I'm experienced enough now that I don't panic at these reading plateaus [should that be 'plateaux'?]. Though I am mildly concerned. Slightly mystified.

His attitude to going back to school was contradictory. Three days beforehand, he developed his first ever 'tummy ache' which came and went each day. He said that he was very keen to return to school to see his friends, which I'm sure is true. But the tummy ache seemed to say something different. When I collected him on the first day, he had a long face and said he'd had the tummy ache all day. I immediately grabbed hold of a mother who is a doctor and asked her to look at him. After that, the tummy ache went away.

His teacher this year is a very nice young woman but after the second day he told us that he wished he was back in year one. He would report each day's information from the new teacher as though he was up against something truly scary: "We're going to do multiplication tables". (They'd already done basic multiplication last year. And he got an excellent report for mathematics.) "If we hand in our work without our names on it, it will be thrown in the bin". (I'm sure this was a distortion of what she'd said, but he seemed terrified that he'd be the one who didn't write his name and whose work would be thrown in the bin. Which is highly unlikely to happen.)

Another mother told me that her daughter, a bright and successful girl, had been eczema-free all holidays yet the eczema had returned with the return to school.

Which makes me wonder if this is one of those temperamental things - sensitive kids who experience a degree of anxiety about change (don't we all) and external pressures, no matter how well supported they are or how happy the school environment they're in. And there's no doubt that today's six and seven year olds are under more pressure than I was at that age - just doing homework (which I never had to do) is a pressure. The pressures on his two working parents inevitably filter through to him - there are considerable pressures on our timetables - goodness, I didn't have a timetable at age seven. I went to school**, came home and played. I played all weekend - we never went anywhere. This kid's life is very different, with three to four out-of-school classes every week - which he enjoys, there's no doubt about that, but some also fill in childcare slots, so they have a dual purpose. Plus a full social life. It's a rare weekend that we wouldn't visit or be visited by at least two different groups of friends - and that's just at nighttime. There's never a dull - or spare - moment. As an adult I can find it a bit much. For the past few months, I've been trying hard to put the social brakes on (difficult, we know so many nice people), to carve out time for 'doing nothing' at home.

[**Not that school was a picnic for me in second grade - I spent the year watching my nun teacher caning other children for the slightest misdemeanours. That was certainly pressure of another kind.]

Anyway, now we're into the second week of school and things have already settled down a bit. So the adjustment was in fact relatively easy. Last week, before school started, taking into account his reading reluctance, I suggested that we start on this year's Premier's Reading Challenge. We've done a book a day since - and this year he's reading them to me. For the first three or so he was quite unconfident - even though he has a very wide reading vocabulary (he'd be able to read most of this blog entry, for example, though he wouldn't comprehend it), his voice was very hesitant. That concerns me. But maybe it shouldn't. Maybe that's just how he is.

So, in summary:

• He now reads very well.
• He isn't going to be reading to himself any time soon.
• Except for fact books and comic books.

Which means he is following the 'typical boy's' path to book-reading.

[I've written several posts on this subject but seem to have categorised them under various headings, so that it's hard to find them as a group. Maybe one of these days I'll create a reading category and put them all there.]

Comments

[Jody]

I'm thinking about tweaking my categories and finding it rather daunting. The typepad search engine helps a little but not as much as I'd like.

I always appreciate these updates on Olle's reading because it's enormously comforting to anticipate a range of little-boy responses to words. It's clear that Wilder is far less interested than his sisters in word sounds and a host of girl-friendly pre-reading activities. I'm just grateful that he delights in hearing books read.

[Liz]

I am intrigued by the 'boy's path to reading' notion. Although Evan started reading young (something that seems to run in my family), I have been bemused by his reluctance to actually *use* his skills. I was reading well at the same age, and clearly remember several of the books I enjoyed reading at that time - in fact, these books are one of my few clear memories of being this age! By comparison, Evan far prefers to be read to - he will pester and pester us to read to him, and only reluctantly pick up a book (and usually read it just fine, apart from particularly "tricky" words) if we aren't available. I just don't understand this, and keep hinting that it is "so much fun" to be able to read to yourself, as you don't have to wait for a grown-up to help you. I LOVED being able to read to myself, so I just don't *get* it. Your post makes me think (at the risk of being stereotypical, etc etc) that maybe it's a 'boy thing'. I am really interested hearing about the ups and downs of Olle's interest in reading - it is helping to prepare me to keep such things in perspective when they arise!

I am also intrigued (and in a strange way, kind of reassured) by your description of the children's nerves on going back to school. Watching Evan start school, I have been very struck by how difficult and stressful it is...and have felt twinges of worry that it is "just him" or that as parents we've "done something wrong". On some level, I know this is silly - I have many stressful school-related memories - but it helps to be reminded that lots of kids get nerves and tummy aches (hell, I remember far worse than this at High School!). I feel for Olle with his worries about multiplication tables and getting his work thrown in the bin (!) - this is just the kind of prospect that would have terrified me at the same age!!!! It's good to hear he has a nice teacher. I guess starting each new grade is a nerve-wracking experience.

[jellyfish]

Given that you have written before about how hard you have tried to raise your child in a very (for want of a better term) 'gender neutral' way, what do you make of the fact that he seems to be taking the 'typical boys path' to reading? Is it an influence of school/other kids/society, or more a biological thing (ie. there are some studies that suggest testosterone and other biological factors alter the way boys are 'wired' to learn)?

[susoz]

Jellyfish, good question as this is the source of my mystification. In many ways O has not been a typical boy - he was not at all interested in cars or trains. He's physically graceful, not boisterous. He's gentle and emotionally sensitive. All of which confirms my ideas about nurture. (And even more, confirms my ideas that there is a wide range of possible behaviours among boys and girls and the rigidly labelled genderised list gets all the attention and is used to push everyone else into line.)
He's loved stories and being read to from about age two. Friends of mine and teachers confirm that he has a very strong sense of narrative, a strong imagination - he does drama and loves it. All of this would lead me to think he'd be a natural candidate for reading to himself, at least from age seven, which is when I started reading a lot and I've seen other girls start then too. (And some boys, including in his class - so we do have to be careful about specifying what's 'typical'.) But Olle isn't and it looks like he isn't even close to it.
I don't see that as a reflection of anything hardwired. I do wonder if it's a reflection of something else that boys feel compelled to do - that they are still exploring external realities through play and sport to a degree that girls turn away from at this age. I don't know. I don't fully understand it. My brother, who has an English degree and owned a bookstore for a decade, says that he didn't start seriously reading till he was a teenager. (I was too busy reading at the time to notice.) It does just seem that there are different paths and perhaps more boys are on one than the other.

[Valerie]

To add another data point: I've tried hard to raise my kids in gender-neutral ways. I've put a lot of thought and careful parenting into it, and I think I've done a good job of being gender-neutral. And yet my son *does* embrace all of the "typical boy things" that Olle doesn't. And my daughter loves the "typical girl things" -- although she's also interested in a lot of math and science things that are not typical girl things. Being so very carefully gender-neutral with them and yet having them turn out with such stereotypical gender roles anyway has led me to believe that *on* *average* these things are hardwired. I know I've posted about this here before, but... I used to be a very strong believer that gender roles are taught, not inborn, but watching my own kids grow up so differently has changed my mind.