dear reader...

Thanks for still reading my blog even though I hardly ever post and my posts are a bit distracted.

Actually, I've been away for a short holiday in Adelaide, or more accurately for most of the time, in the Adelaide Hills.

That's where our friends have recently bought two acres, with two old sheep thrown in, and already they've added some hens and a swimming pool and solar heating and a combustion stove and some new water tanks. They are full of plans and ideas and each day brought a new set of tasks - firewood chopping and collecting, testing the PH of the pool water during the switch from chlorine to salt, late blackberry picking, sheep feeding (the drought has destroyed most of the grass), furniture rearranging and of course a great deal of eating and drinking, as well as walks to collect pears fallen by the side of the road to feed to neighbouring horses and alpacas. It was very chilly on one or two days, a big contrast to the Sydney we left though not to the Sydney we returned to, which is distinctly autumnal now.

After a few days up in the hills we moved down onto the warmer Adelaide plain and spent a sunny day in the vineyards of McLaren Vale with another pair of friends.

Dropping in on other people's lives like that makes me think my own life is unproductive in contrast. Or maybe it's that both couples we stayed with don't have children and their considerable creativity manifests in tangible projects - an incredibly beautiful garden built from scratch in the past two years, home renovations and decorations which actually get done, a recent PhD, an MA, paintings, plans to branch out onto different career paths... Maybe that kind of snapshot of a life has an impact which constant contact would dilute. Maybe my own life would look similarly productive to an outsider doing a stocktake. And maybe some of their productiveness is a function of living in a smaller city (and outside a smaller city). We live at the centre of a much bigger city. It feels like there is constant distraction - or is it stimulation? - outside our front door. I often feel as if my mental energy is dissipated in too many frivolous social activities and contacts - though I enjoy them too, of course.

This brings me back to this blog. I think it used to be more cohesive and alive (and more journalistic), but is mirroring some of the dissolution of energies in my life. It's not that I'm stuck (in my life) - I'm getting on with things, there are exciting plans for the almost-immediate future (moving to London for awhile) and I've worked out what to do with myself next year. And of course, my ongoing 'project' is as a mother and I find that absorbing and rewarding on a very deep level. But in a more longterm sense, I'm treading water, hoping inspiration will strike as to what I want to do as I grow older. I should try and use this blog as a place to think through these kinds of things, in the company of you, dear readers.

Comments

[Laura]

Thank you for continuing to post. For what it's worth, I agree that your posting style has changed, but I don't find the new any less engaging than the old.

[Jacinta]

Your thoughts on life are so literary. Thanks for posting.

[Jacinta]

Your thoughts on life are so literary. Thanks for posting.

[Mikhela]

What are you doing with yourself next year? When are you moving to London? Have I missed some posts?

Your writing style is always lyrical, whether you are direccting our attention to the macro or the micro.

[tigtog]

Glad to catch up on what you've been up to. We must get together for a drink at least once before you head off to London (big change there, although at least you have done it before!)

[Helen]

Great post, and I loved the one after this, about the two dinner parties. It's a perfect example of what I call the underground river (racism, misogyny and you can add transphobia, homophobia and other things to that) - which boils up in all kinds of unexpected places and from people you wouldn't expect it from.

[Valerie]

I really enjoy your blog and hope you will continue posting.